I think I depend too much on my boyfriend for my own happiness and confidence. I feel so happy when I’m around him, but the smallest thing, like not replying, can send me in to a horrible mood. I find myself wondering if he is cheating or not interested in me. I want to be more self-sufficient, and I think I need to rely on myself more for happiness, but I don’t know how to do this. I would also like to stop arguing with my boyfriend all the time—because if he can’t answer a text right away, it really isn’t his fault. Can you give me some advice?
Thank you for writing to me with this problem. I think many of us depend on our partners for life, support, and even for happiness. The first step is to look at where you are within your life. Look back and ask yourself what your goals were a few years ago. Have you achieved them? If you haven’t, then I would go back to the drawing board and work out why those goals haven’t been successful. If you have surpassed them, it may be time for you to come up with some new goals to aim for. I would also try to find other avenues within your life with which you can occupy yourself when your partner isn’t around. For example, do you have a hobby? Do you have something you could be doing with your time when you are alone? You may also want to consider the possibility that you may be suffering from Identity crisis.
I think it’s healthy for you to confront these problems now, as they could get worse in the future. I truly believe that once you find something for yourself—a hobby, a goal, a career choice, perhaps even an educational opportunity—you will depend less on your partner and will make yourself happy. That’s the end goal for all human beings—to make themselves happy.
If you have some burning questions that you would love for me to tackle, please log on to my website at theprincessofsuburbia.com. Go to my blog tab and click on Dear Princess… Send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you.
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Until next time, be inspired, be motivated, be of sentimental value, and be the hero in your own success rescue.
Bye for now.
Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, BSN, MA, Ph.D, DNP.
Your Vision Midwife, Behavioral Health & Transformation
Interventionist turned Award Winning Filmmaker, TV/Radio Host